Camels. Straws.

Why is it always the little things in my life that get me down?
Why is all the big things my husband does and that I love him for get ground down by all the petty irritations?

  • Why is it that Kevin’s not capable of putting a damn roll of toilet paper on the roll when he uses the last bit, but can ALWAYS take the time to turn the roll around if I put it on with the free end hanging down the back?
  • What is is about the trash? Taking the trash out is supposed to be his job. And yet, the trash bags have to stack up three deep in the kitchen before he takes them out, and there’s still a litter bag in the bathroom? Not to mention the soda boxes he can’t be bothered to crush and throw out. Or pizza boxes. Or any other ‘large trash’ that doesn’t conveniently find itself put into bags, because why bother with a bag for a box? I mean, seriously, it takes up the whole damn bag.
  • Speaking of the trash, why does he always have to take the trash OUT and THEN bring the mail in? 90% of what we get in the mail is trash anyway, so all he does is half fill another bag.
  • Why does he have to wait until I’ve turned music ON to decide that he wants to watch television?
  • Why does he get huffy with me if I leave the room because he’s watching something I’m not remotely interested in (or actively dislike.) It’s nothing personal, I just can’t concentrate on anything if the brainsucker is on.
  • Why does the TiVo feel like a goddamn to-do list? You know, I was perfectly happy MISSING television shows and either catching them on reruns or buying the series on DVD. Now I feel guilty about everything that’s stacked up on the fucking TiVo. Just not quite guilty enough to watch it.
  • Jess is mostly going to the potty now. This is good. Sometimes she wants Kevin to take her, and sometimes she wants me to do it. Why is it that Kevin can’t be bothered to wipe the floor down if Jess misses her mark? Furthermore, what idiot designed a training potty with 500 million nooks and crannies for pee to get trapped in when a toddler misses the mark? I’m really, really tired of washing that thing out.
  • Why is is, you think, that dishes come in two batches – not quite enough to be worth running the dishwasher, and just too many to fit in the dishwasher?
  • Why can’t the rental office get their goddamn web site working. On time. With the correct rent amounts on it? Although I must admit, it’s amusing to find out that they forgot to turn on the monitor for our water this month, so we don’t have to pay it.
  • Further, why did maintenance have to leave the torn-down gutters in the walkway out of our apartment… haul the damn things away, or throw them in the trash, but they’re a goddamn hazard where they are.
  • My birthday this year pretty much sucked. SUCK. ED. Teh Suxzor. Uber sux. My present from Kevin? Two sticks of RAM. Guess what? They make my computer crash. For the first time in 35 years, I didn’t get a cake. At all. No cakes. Not even a cupcake. My father brings his goddamn broken computer over to our house on my birthday, wanting Kevin to fix it, so for my birthday I have an annoyed husband yelling “fucking stupid piece of shit machine” all evening instead of someone paying attention to me. My birthday present from my dad is a check. That I can use to pay for a little less than half of one of my crowns.
  • Every time I think I’m getting close to done with my dentist appointments, I keep getting another one tacked on to the end. I have at least 5 more appointments. And every time I have an appointment, I get a terrible headache. If you’d told me 18 months ago that it would have been this bad and time consuming, I think I’d have just said ‘fuck it.’
  • I hate insurance companies. My prescription coverage went WAAAAY down this year. Instead of $60 a month, my scripts are now costing about $100 a month. Which means between that and my crowns, we’re not going to have enough in flex spending to last for the rest of the year. Some lady and her two kids ‘accidentally’ got onto Kevin’s coverage. A bunch of our flex spending was used to cover some of their scripts. We still don’t know if we’ll ever get that money back.
  • Did I mention my birthday RAM doesn’t work? It’s now been sitting on my desk for almost a week. I don’t know where Kevin got it, or what their return policy is. Kevin’s supposed to be talking to them about returning it. This is me, not holding my breath. This is me also noticing that $170 is a lot of money to just be sitting around on my desk not working.
  • Kevin’s supposed to take the car in for inspection this year, since I’ve done it the last four or five years in a row. Who wants to bet I end up doing it again anyway…
  • My father called this morning and wanted to know if any of the data on his crashed hard drive was recoverable. This is the hard drive that they were warned by their computer was crashing, and they didn’t make backups then. I am so fucking tired of people using my husband as goddamn free tech support. I’m also fucking tired of him continuing to do it.
  • I’m also sick and tired of 5,000 bits and pieces of computer hanging around the house. Every time I say something about it, Kevin tells me he can’t ‘just throw it out.’ This does not keep Kevin from enforcing the stuffed animal ‘rule.’ Every time I get a new stuffed animal (for me, not for Jess), I have to throw one away. SIGH.
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2 Responses to Camels. Straws.

  1. Summer says:

    Are you sure you’re writing about your husband, not mine? I couldn’t tell you how many thousands of tiny little screws I have secretly thrown away, and thank God we have an office outside of our home, because now he can junk that up with computer parts.
    In our house, we don’t even PRETEND that taking the trash out is his job. And I’m preparing myself for my annual Mother’s Day Shafting (not the good kind of shafting), as he believes that the day is to celebrate HIS mother and not the mother of his child.
    He’s lucky he’s sexy, I’ll say that much.

  2. J.D. says:

    Fritter is lazy about the trash and things, too. It turns into colossal engineering feats.
    Not that this isn’t my fault as well….

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