Part One of Two

The second part will be written after I get back from my doctor’s appointment….
Could I be any more paranoid? Probably not.
According to my calculations, I’m seven weeks pregnant. I understand from Liz that the doctor will tell me I’m about nine weeks pregnant, since they count pregnancy from the first day of your last period. This seems messed up to me. Excuse me, I’m pre-pregnant? Is that anything like a pre-engagement ring?
In any case… nerves. Bundle. I am. (Some of this might be TMI for people. Proceed with caution.)

Liz tells me she was nervous before her first appointment because she was afraid the doctor was going to tell her she wasn’t pregnant. That she had some weird condition of stress and whatnot that made her body think she was pregnant.
I completely understand.
I’m not so much worried about not having been pregnant. Two weeks ago, I got… um… a bit constipated. I’m told this is a normal side effect to the first few months of pregnancy for some women. (ha! It seems like everything, anything, and nothing could be a possible side effect) In any case, I had some spotting (spotting can be caused by any number of reasons and while it is not normal it does happen in about 20% of pregnancies, so it’s not supposed to be something to worry about either.) that went along with this, and I’ve been a bit of a nervous wreck about it. I’ve already had miscarriages before, and I don’t particularly want to have another one.
Some of the things that can cause spotting are:
Implantation spotting. When the embryo sticks itself to the wall of the uterus, spotting sometimes happens.
Menstrual spotting. Sometimes the hormone levels are not quite high enough yet to tell the body “No, let’s not have a period this month” and the result is a very light period.
Capillary spotting. When a women’s body prepares to be pregnant, the uterus starts filling up with blood. Much like a bad case of allergies might occassionally result in a bloody nose from strained capillaries in the nose, pressure will occassionally cause broken capillaries in the uterus, resulting in a bit of spotting.
Now, the thing is, all the places I’ve read that talk about spotting always say “If it’s not a lot of blood, don’t worry about it.” The problem with that is… how much is too much? My spotting has been very light, I mean, it doesn’t even get on my underwear, but it’s still been worrisome.
The other things that the books and websites have said (I lied… I said I didn’t want to read a bunch of books, but I ended up doing it anyway. I don’t know if it’s making me feel better or worse) basically:
If it’s just blood, don’t worry. (If there’s tissue or clots in with it, call your doctor)
If it’s painless, don’t worry. (If there’s a lot of lower back pain and/or cramping, call your doctor)
If it stops again relatively soon, don’t worry. (If it goes on for more than a day, call your doctor)
If it’s not much blood, don’t worry. (If you soak a sanitary pad, call your doctor)
So… I’m still worried, even though my spotting doesn’t fall into those categories.

On the other hand, there’ve been some nice things about being pregnant.
I started growing breasts when I was all of about 11 years old. By the time I was 13, I was wearing a C-sized cup. I’ve never been really happy with this, either. My breasts pretty much point straight down and look, to me, more like saggy ice cream cones than breasts. They certainly don’t look nice. Except now they do.
I’ve added another cup size already. Bleh, need to buy new bras. Again. But the extra cup size seems to be filling in under the nipple, so my breasts are pointed out straight. I like this. It looks good.
Gee. If I’d known that was going to happen, I might have decided to get pregnant sooner. (on the other hand, I’m told it won’t last much after the pregnancy…)

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One Response to Part One of Two

  1. Gris says:

    It could be worse.
    You could be living in Antarctica, balancing a fragile little egg on the tops of your toes for months on end without even a snack break or time to go to the bathroom. And you *know* you don’t like cold weather. 😀

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