Today, while Kevin was getting dilated at the eye-doctors, I went to (gasp!) pay my personal property taxes.
Yes, I know that it’s September. And I know taxes are due in February. That’s mostly beside the point.
I had been trying to resolve the tax issue through the mail – this would be known as 1) I am excessively lazy. 2) I hate bureaucrats 3) we’ve spent a large part of the last couple years being flat broke.
In any case, I go down to take care of it today (before we get another $100 fine for not having a county sticker).
First lady is for back taxes due only.
Lady: Do you know you owe two years of back taxes.
Me: Yes, I know.
Lady: You should take care of these things sooner
Me: Yes, I know. I’d like to do it now, please.
The lady fills out umpteen million pieces of paper, then hands them to me.
Me: How much is it?
Lady: You can’t pay it here, you have to go get your county stickers in that line over there.
Stand in line for another ten minutes.
Lady: My records show you own three cars.
Me: I don’t. The 1995 Ford was totaled May 2, 2001.
Lady: Last year or this year?
Me: ::blink:: two… thousand… and… one…
Lady: You have back taxes due on that car.
Me: Yes, I know. ::wave the back taxes forms at her::
Lady: And now you have a 1995 Ford and a Dodge?
Me: No. I have a 1994 Ford and a Dodge.
Lady: And the other Ford was totalled this May?
Me: LAST YEAR
She fills out three more pieces of paper.
Me: How much?
Lady: You can’t pay here, these are just your forms. That line there please.
Stand in line behind an ancient man who wants to be reassured that despite changing cars in the middle of the year, he doesn’t have to pay taxes on two cars at once, and can he transfer his city sticker from one car to the other?
Lady: Wow, you have back taxes due.
Me: YES. I KNOW!
Lady: ::fiddles with all the papers I gave her:: So, you need one county sticker, for the 1995 Ford?
Me: No. I need one sticker for the 1994 Ford and one for the Dodge Van. The 1995 Ford doesn’t belong to me anymore, it was totalled in May of 2001.
Lady: This May?
Me: . o O (Can I just pay the bill and get out of here?) No, last year, as in more than fifteen months ago.
Lady: Oh. You know, you really should take care of these things sooner.
Me: Yes. I KNOW.
And we pay taxes to pay these people’s wages. Argh.